1 post tagged “t.a.t.u.”

I feel a lot like Peter Petrelli.  No, I don't think I have super powers.  Sometimes it's like I absorb the energies around me.  Super empathy you might say.   I feel empathetic all the time.

I think I've realized something about myself.  I have always fed off the energy of the people in a room.  It's the reason I'm no good at parties with a lot of people.  I start taking on their energy, their excitement.  The more people, the more energy.  It's really hard for me to control sometimes.  It hurt me a lot in middle school, but I started to get it under control in high school, until I made more friends.  I had to learn how to cope with more people.  I wasn't used to situations with more than five or so people my age.

And coming here has been just like that.  Every feeling you guys have, I feel.  I hurt when you're hurting.  I get giddy when you do.  In a huge way, I need you guys to have an identity.  I feel so weak and defenseless when I'm alone, cause I can't tap into your strength.  It's especially hard when I've been going one on one with you.  If I fight with you, who do I have?

I apologize for the way I might have acted in front of large groups of your friends.  I just need to ease my way into it.  If I just leap into a big thing like that party, I'll go berserk.  But also, don't cut me off.  I need you.  I'll say it.  I was walking around to classes today, and I just realized.  I was so confused as to why I was so drained and plain not personable.  Cause I've felt cut off from you, I have lost my power source: (It's dumb but not to me) my friendships.